{"id":151913,"date":"2014-11-26T00:00:00","date_gmt":"2014-11-26T00:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/gracious-khorana.45-76-20-142.plesk.page\/bacon-gruyere-apple-whole-grain-bread-stuffed-pumpkin\/"},"modified":"2023-06-26T17:11:40","modified_gmt":"2023-06-26T17:11:40","slug":"bacon-gruyere-apple-whole-grain-bread-stuffed-pumpkin","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/localmilkblog.com\/2014\/11\/bacon-gruyere-apple-whole-grain-bread-stuffed-pumpkin.html","title":{"rendered":"Bacon + Gruyere + Apple + Whole Grain Bread Stuffed Pumpkin"},"content":{"rendered":"
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This is quintessential fall. As winter most finally creeps in and we celebrate the last of the fall\u00a0holidays tomorrow, this dish serves as one great salute to the autumnal months\u2014the rusty hues, the smoke, the firm orchard fruit. If you\u2019re one of those (and I suspect many of you are) that has your Thanksgiving spread thoroughly mapped at at this, the 11th hour, tuck this recipe away for next year. Or for later this week. But if you are looking for a last minute idea to enliven\u00a0your table, this is just the thing. It\u2019s the sort of dish that becomes a tradition, and it\u2019s a great balance of indulgence\u00a0as well as the nutrition of whole grains. I\u2019m one of those that will eat absolutely anything in moderation so long as I know where it came from. And I\u2019m thoroughly, so thoroughly, for carbs. I couldn\u2019t live without bread, pasta, farro, and risotto. Well, I wouldn\u2019t much want to. According to the \u00a0Grains Food Foundation<\/a>, \u00a0a diet balanced with carbohydrates is proven to reduce cognitive decline. Their program on the relationship between grains and neurology, Grains For Your Brain<\/a>, has even more information on the benefits of whole grains for your brain matter. Score, bread. Now if someone could just prove that bacon will make me a genius, I\u2019m set.<\/p>\n

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This is the\u00a0time of year\u00a0where we\u00a0talk about gratitude. Thanksgiving is impending and that\u2019s what you do. Tomorrow, I\u2019ll sit around the table with my clan, my people, my blood, and we\u2019ll say what we\u2019re grateful for. When I first got sober, I\u2019d write five things each morning that I was thankful for. A gratitude journal. Just five things. They didn\u2019t have to be huge. They could be down right inane. But if I was grateful for it, it could make the list. One time I made a collage on a notebook. Collage is symptomatic of new recovery. At least for me it\u00a0was. I was\u00a0regaining movement in my creative\u00a0legs, desperate to walk again, and I was just beginning to\u00a0wiggle my toes. It was feeble and silly and I was grateful for it. I had a bed to sleep in. Grateful for it. Each morning I would collect those marbles and lay them out in front of me. One, two, three, four, five. I\u2019d roll them over in my hand. Hold them up to the light if only for a moment. And then on with my day. Gratitude isn\u2019t just for the perceived weak\u00a0among us that might fall if we don\u2019t cling to the good stuff. It\u2019s for everyone. Gratitude keeps us from that distasteful habit of the unexamined life, making a victim of ourselves. It holds in focus the potentially taken for granted. It forces us to dig through shit days to find their redeeming qualities. It\u2019s energizing and life-giving. It isn\u2019t Polly Anna nonsense. So long as I\u2019m on this side of the dirt, it\u2019s a good day. An old man said that to me once. It stuck. And I agree.<\/p>\n

This week was trying. I was in my first ever real, live car accident. I\u2019ve bumped into my fair share of non-moving, inanimate objects in my driving career. The odd wall, post, other parked car. But I had never been in one of those glass shattering, metal twisting, slow motion affairs. Until a few days ago. I was driving back to my hotel from work, from a shoot. It was raining, dark. Prime time for such things. I was listening to my new favorite podcast, Serial, and crossing an intersection, a green light, only about two blocks from my hotel. I\u2019d forgotten my purse in the studio, had run back inside to get it\u2014just the few seconds needed to put me in that spot at that time. The other driver was coming from the hospital, she\u2019d been visiting a relative that was, incidentally, in the ICU\u00a0due to a car accident. I didn\u2019t see her coming. She broadsided me, my eyes widened, and then the great metal post of the traffic light promptly arrested all motion, and my car smashed unceremoniously into the post all steam and twisted metal. One of my headlights was on my wind shield. I couldn\u2019t breath. I was frustrated that I couldn\u2019t breath. My hands shook. I started to cry. I was extra frustrated that I was starting to cry. I kept thinking that I wasn\u2019t the sort of person who loses her shit. But I did, for a moment. I had the presence of mind to get my camera out of the car. And then I wandered aimlessly. I just kept thinking that I wanted to get away from the car. But I didn\u2019t know where to go. She kept asking if I was okay and saying she was sorry. I felt bad for her. And I told her I was fine. And I was. My car was pretty much trashed. But I was fine. Not a scratch. And for that I\u2019m grateful.<\/p>\n

More than that, I\u2019m grateful it happened. Not because it was some great, character building experience. Maybe it was, but frankly it just wasn\u2019t that big of a deal. It was scary, then it was disorienting, then I cried in the shower and yelled some very choice words very loudly upon getting back to my room. Then I went to a great dinner with my colleagues. And on to sleep & work the next day. Just like that. It was nothing. I\u2019m grateful it happened because it was supposed to happen. It (both literally and figuratively) changed some small trajectory. Little plots changed. I may never know what or why or how. But each event, from getting stuck at a traffic light to running head long into one, changes a few second of your day. Just like forgetting my purse changed mine. And for no reason other than I choose to because I\u2019m fond of how my life goes when I believe such things, I believe it\u2019s meant to be. I believe in the orchestra. And that was a fascinating little crescendo.<\/p>\n

I\u2019ve been turning the moments during and after impact over in my mind. It feels like some strange gift to know that part of myself now, to know who I am when I think, if only for a moment, that I might die. It wasn\u2019t as bad as I imagined it would be. And I\u2019m grateful for the reminder that\u00a0these things happen<\/em>. They happen all the time. And sometimes you aren\u2019t lucky and you go on to a different plane altogether. Or it\u2019s someone you love and you\u2019re left with a hole. You can\u2019t live afraid. But you can live with a keen awareness that you\u2019re not always going to like the song but if you learn that thing I\u2019m always going on about,\u00a0amor fati,\u00a0<\/em>that thing Nietzsche went on about,\u00a0\u00a0you can see it all\u2014the pain, inconvenience, and downright debilitating sorrows of your life\u2014as part of the complex, symphonic novel of being. And, somehow, find it in yourself to be grateful for being alive to hurt and fear and worry at all. Not because you should. It\u2019s not about should. But you\u2019ll feel better if you do. And maybe it\u2019s facile or fit for swine, but I think that serenity & dare I say, even happiness (whatever that is, I know, I know) is a worthwhile goal. I don\u2019t want to be tangled up inside. I just don\u2019t.<\/p>\n

Here\u2019s my list. What\u2019s yours?<\/p>\n

1. Not dying in a car wreck. Awesome.<\/p>\n

2. My friends are the most talented, good-humored people I have ever known. And I have more of them than I ever imagined. It\u2019s ridiculous.<\/p>\n

3. I love my weird, patchwork career. It stresses me out because I say yes too much. But at least I have things to say yes to. And I get to travel. Dream come true.<\/p>\n

4. I\u2019m eccentric. I like it that way. I don\u2019t want to change it. I\u2019m grateful that I don\u2019t want to change it.<\/p>\n

5. My family. An obvious one. But I really, really love them and they love me back. That\u2019s not a given in this life. I\u2019m grateful for it.<\/p>\n

I\u2019m also grateful to the Grains Food Foundation<\/a> for sponsoring this post and allowing me to create recipes, photos, and ramblings for you all. Seriously. Do check them out. They\u2019re fighting the good fight for carbs. I can get behind that.<\/p>\n

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